Jo always used to ask me if I had the keys before we walked out the door together. (We live in an apartment complex that requires a remote key for every 10 to 15 yards you travel. Jaykay, just outside doors.)  In the past several months the, "Do you have keys?" question was asked more frequently because we scored an adorable demon Wookie puppy who we walked together and then, of course, the Pokemon Go apocalypse had occurred.

"ZOMGAH!  Something that I'm pretty sure is on top of all the gyms just spawned nearby and I need 350 XP to get to the next level.  Grab Goose and the vodka!  DO YOU HAVE KEYS?!"

"UGH!  YAS, I have keys (this time) and I am an adult who remembers these things most of the time (and that includes that ONE time I got stuck in the disgusting trash room with Cully and was forced to wake you with a phone call screaming, "SHUT DOWN ALL THE GARBAGE COMPACTORS ON THE DETENTION LEVEL!"

But srsly, this ritualistic question really began to grate on me!  So, like any hopeless passive aggressive in her 30s does I decided I could get her to STOP asking by ensuring that I always had keys before leaving. THEN she'd notice my consistency and discontinue feeling the need to ask.  

Problem solved.  

Regards,  

I.  R.  Genius.

Guess what? She stopped asking!  HA!!!

She didn't stop asking. Are you as shocked as I? No? Figures.

Guess how I got her to stop asking... NO, GUESS! 

I started saying, "I have the keys" before she asked.

Today I learned, 

If you want someone to stop doing something, ask them to do so.

If you want to experiment with your methods of mind control to get someone to stop doing something then the force be with you.