Spiders are absolutely terrifying

I was on the commode today doing my ‘bidness’ whilst conversing my mother(don't judge me, people do this) and on my left bicep I a ginormous black spider. I screamed, loudly, which prompted my dog to come, again loudly, to my rescue. I’m frantically snatching TP(4-ply) from the roller and attempting a visual scan of where the spider may have landed. After I abandoned the toilet I did a tippy toe recon of bathroom clutching Riley in attempt to locate the offender and when I realized that it could still possibly be ON me I promptly executed THIS.




Needless to say I couldn’t possibly use that bathroom after I’d been attacked. I had to use the guest shower and the only body wash available in there was the Axe we had leftover from our male roommate, Matt. I've caution taped the bathroom and notified the local authorities (Jenn) so hopefully the issue will be resolved by the time I arrive home from work.

Turn signals were invented for your health

The turn signal is usually a multipurpose lever always located on the left hand side of the steering wheel of any given American (as in U.S.) driven car. It is located there for your convenience and as far as I know, I don't believe the car plants are using "invisible paint" on it. During your journey via CAR to your destination it would behoove you to USE the turn signal as an INDICATOR that your vehicle will be leaving my flight path imminently and which way I can expect your exit. Flipping your turn signal on while you're turning is not helpful, nor is it helpful to turn it on WHILE you're in a designated turn lane WAITING to turn. It's rather clear at the point what you're doing so basically what you're doing here is trying to draw attention to yourself because you're arrogant. Using your turn signal as soon as possible is not only helpful to the maniac drivers behind you, but it is also beneficial to you as it gives me more time to convince my foot to ease pressure pushing down the pedal to the floorboard.

I'm basically informing you because I care about your safety. I'm an extremely impulsive person and when you don't use your turn signals I have actually talk myself into braking instead of ramming into the back of your car like inertia is telling me to do. Now, please, take the turn signal OUT of the 'optional' folder of your mind and place it where it belongs. In the "do it or I'll Kathy Bates ram into the back of your car because my insurance is already high and if I'm uninsurable I can buy all of those impulsive things that I want" folder.

Thanks in advance for your consideration,

The Weave